Faith or Fate?

    Lately I've been thinking about the whole predestination vs. self-determination debate.  On one hand, I'd like to think that I can co-create like the envisioners preach (see the movie What the Bleep!? or read the book The Secret for an explanation of this view).  It would be great to fully believe that we can control our lives by thinking in certain ways, by envisioning certain things consistently, by believing that we can co-create our dreams.

     Yet, I also wonder about the concept of life as a school, where we are here to learn lessons.  I mean, there are those of us who weren't blessed with perfectly functioning bodies, or perfectly supportive families, or perfectly accident- or disease- or tragedy-free lives.  Those things, the life-is-about-learning preachers tell us, are for us to grow as persons, to learn important things. 

     So, which is it?

     My summer doldrums cause me to lean toward the latter view.  Yes, I envision, I believe, I do all the right mental exercises, but nothing seems to come of it.  So, perhaps the lesson is to learn how to accept that some of my dreams aren't coming true.  And what am I learning?  Well, once I get over the frustration and disappointment, perhaps the lesson is acceptance, gratitude at what I have and what I've achieved so far, and relaxing more into a state of being rather than a state of doing. 

     Dang it.